Promoted

To be honest..today I felt like I'm gonna eat everything and everyone in front me. I dunno how to explain how hurt my feeling. People may saw me happy, laughing and smiling a lot but deep down on my heart..there is huge hurt feeling.
Call me childish or immature or anything u like but I still feel like they treat me unfair.

Last week my boss ask us to fill in the appraisal form. Okay..as usual I will fill in the form..but this time I have a strong feeling that I need to be promoted due to I'm already work here 2 year plus. I really put my hope on high. One of my colleague was promoted last appraisal and she also work here around 2 year plus. I thought they will promoted me as well this time but no. Not at all. They promoted others colleague and damn they not even reach 2 year working here. Totally upset and I can feel my heart beating so fast.

The reason why they promoted the others and not me is their work is so tidy and they independent on their task. So how bout me? My work is not tidy? I can't deliver my task on time? I need to kacau others to make sure my task done? Come on!!! Some work I do by myself and u even dunno how to do it and I not qualified for getting promoted??. Some other thing is they said they will fight for one of my colleague whose working longer than me.

Seriously?? I end up keep questioning myself..did I perform well here? Do I achieve their target? Which area that I need to improve? To be honest...I totally lost my confidence over my work and myself. They should promote me okay! I think I qualified to get promoted!!!!

Should I start to search other better opportunity now??

Updating

Long time no see dah ruangan blog ni. Almost forgotten dah kot.  

Teringin sangat nak delete profile tapi sayang pula 😂 . Semalam one of my Instagram follower (unknown person aka stranger) Tanya kenapa dah lama x update blog entry. I was shocked cuz I thought nobody would like to read what I saying and write here. Some more, there is no interesting topic and my stories also is quite boring. Follower claim that she became my silent reader and she said my story is fun to read..lol. Thanks a lot ,my silent reader. Okay...apa yg patut saya tulis sekarang. 😰😰😰😰 ? Hurm..no idea for now la. Hehe. I will update my blog later on la ye. Lol

Bertudung

First of all..I'm so sorry to write an entry like this. Saya Tak ada attention lain, ya I realize who am I to talk bout it, I not even a muslimah. I just want to share what I saw and what I listen.
Alkisahnya begini...petang tadi masa tunggu tren,ada dua org mak cik saling berbisik2 sambil jeling2 gadis bertudung yg duduk sebelah dorang. Ala kita tau la tu dorang tengah soseh2 pasal gadis sebelah tu. For 1st time I saw, dalam hati bermonolog "apalah mak cik dua org ni tgh bisik2?" Saya perhati gadis tu pula..Hurm seems like nothing wrong with her, why the mak cik really kepoh one. A few minutes later tren sampai so semua naik. Kebetulan saya berdiri depan mak cik dua org tu and the gadis tadi berdiri sebelah saya. Her perfume..gosh sangat wangi.to be honest love her Smell. And then saya perhati mak cik dua org tu lagi. Masih lagi x habis2 bisik2, gelak2 and then always ckp kuat2 mcm menyindir.
I heard them said "x Malu bagi org lain Tgo aurat dia". To be honest..saya ingat dia talk bout me, yala saya kan pakai skirt and lengan pendek. Dalam hati dah start emo dah. Lepas tu I perasan gadis sebelah saya tu mcm rimas Dan balik2 mencebik. A few minutes later gadis tu tiba2 melenting Dan ckp "sibuk Hal orang, mengumpat tu sama dengan membunuh"...Lepas dia ckp mcm tu dia beralih tempat Jauh sikit. Lepas tu sorang daripada mak cik soseh2 tu menyahut. "Kita Tak mengata pun...tulah lain Kali xpayah pakai tudung tu". And then gadis tu menjawab lagi "ko tu malaikat Sgt la...pakai tudung tp mulut mcm puaka". I was in middle of them...blur xtau apa yg dh terjadi. Orang dlm tren almost Chinese pn terpinga.
And then gadis tu dh Geram sangat dia pusingkan belakang dia. And then I was like a lil bit surprise la. Oo baru saya faham kenapa mak cik ni bisik2, rupa2nya gadis tu pakai baju transparents, dah tu Lupa pakai singlet dalam. Nampak jelas color bra dia merah. What wrong kalau dia pakai baju color krim yg transparent?? Do u aware that earlier of this entry I have mentioned that she is gadis bertudung. And as I know..the way she wearing baju like that is so not suitable.
Saya ada ramai kawan2 muslimah yg bertudung and they are lovely. I may not fully understand the hukum but as they told me(I have ask them) menutup aurat is kewajipan. Correct me of I wrong dear friends. For me..gadis tu perlu sensitive dengan pemilihan baju dia, somemore please put ur respect to ur tudung. Saya tengok mmg x sesuai sebab u cover u hair but then u show u back and even u body. Okay..maybe today she wake up late and then terlupa pakai singlet or inner. Tapi x ada ke kawan2 dia tegur?. At least bagitau her baju too striking and then pinjamkan dia sweater or kardigan or selendang untuk dia tutup badan dia.
Dalam tgh Kalut2 ..tiba2 ada seorang mak cik free hair amik selendang dia dari her bag and hulur to that girl. I can see the girl almost tearing..1st place dia tolak and then mak cik free hair tu berkeras juga and then she take and wear the selendang. So touching bila tengok ni..the mak cik free hair dari td Baca buku saja tp rupa2nya she listen everything.
Everyone on the tren was silent. I learn something today from this scene. Take action! When someone talk non stop bout something but did not take action it's was nothing. when u mouth close but ur heart listen and u take action it was amazing. Mak cik dua orang tu suppose baling batu depan2 secara lembut. Cara macam ni lagi menusuk kalbu daripada baling batu belakang2 and then kasar. I dun know bout ur but I prefer orang tegur kesilapan saya secara depan2 Dan Bukan secara kasar.
Conclusion is please aware bout u attire..don't make people gossiping bout that, make it suitable. Do not talk bad bout people..we do not what she facing this morning. If can't Tahan to watch..why not go and tell her properly. This is no use to sindir2 and hurt other feeling. Be kind..take action.

***sorry again if entry ni menyinggung anda..no hard feeling.

Pencarian calon suami

Yes it's true...tajuk entry saya x salah hahaha. To be honest, I feel a bit tension when my parents bug me with this. Setiap Kali call cerita pasal kawan2 kampung or sekolah dah bertunang,kawin or dah beranak. Alaaa..u knew it too, dorg bagi hint Kat saya. Ya I aware bout that but what to do if I really dun have any. Kalau saya balik kampung pun..certain of orang kampung pun yang prihatin terhadap diri ni akan Tanya. "So how..bila?". Aiyoo..jawapan selamat saya is "belum ada lagi, just help to pray".  Dun get me wrong ya..saya below 30 tapi memandangkan culture Kat kampung tu anak2 gadis kawin before 30 so kena hadap la dengan Benda mcm ni.
Makanya..dengan tu saya start sekarang ingin mencari calon suami. Hahaha. Slow slow la kan..Tak de la sampai nak berhusband terus main YES I DO je. Criteria saya simple je.
1. Ada kerja tetap x kira gomen or swasta. Kalau ada bisness sendiri yg dh stabil tu kira bonus k.
2. Menghormati Dan penyayang kepada anak2 and org tua.
3. Bertolak ansur.
4. Membimbing saya dalam soal agama.
5. Kalau semua di atas tu dah ada tapi candidate pula beragama lain, kenalah bagi tunjuk ajar,teladan Dan semangat untuk saya memahami agama tersebut. Saya x nak convert kerana perkahwinan. Takut nanti Lepas kawin saya apa pun x tau...Lepas tu confuse Dan tu kan boleh rosakkan diri saya.

Walau apa pun...I just surrender to God. Hopefully I meet someone.

*Malu pula saya buat entry ni. Hahahahah