Me and my stupid

Macam dah terlalu lama pula aku x update Blog aku. Okay lah. Kali ni aku nak tulis pasal perasaan aku and tentang kebodohan yang aku reka sendiri. Okay lah...let me start with my feeling now. Seriously, i feel damn stupid, sad...stress and feel uncomfortable with my work environment. 1st : "the botak" said i just be one of my office mate  assistant which i need to help her to make some operational job as create a demo. 2nd : "the botak" never inform me before that i'm must be a trainee to new client. Damn bullshit...he know how to bonded me here and put me in the uncomfortable position. After i sign the bond form, and the others office mate inform me that my position is presales??? hello there...are you out of u sense rite now? what the hell u think that i capable for this position. This is not right man!. Okay never mind...i try to push myself to like it..who know i will fall in love with this new position rite. But the most i hate in this part is..."The botak" ask me to train other people which at high level management. Good for ya to make me ashamed with myself. i need to start from below...Gosh..it's really gross for now. I also dunno what should i do now....really. then the conclusion i have now is just put the trigger at my head and shot myself. 

Okay..enough with my feeling. let me talk about my stupid now. The week before i sign the new agreement and the bond. I went to interview....very nice interviewer. And the surprise is they on the spot hired me. Okay...i tell them. i need to think first because i need to settle my job in my current company now. so they give a couple of day to think bout that. a few day later i call them and i said.."i'm sorry because i need to decline u offer" meaning to say i wanna stay in my current office because i already been bonded by them. next week...i got a 4 offer that better than now and the willing to pay my bond. But still i decline...so that was my stupid thing i do and let the opportunity gone. but the good news is the one of the company willing to wait me until my bond is done. 

I also dunno what should i do now...i dun feel comfortable anymore to be here...it's such a pain i cause to myself. And i feel how the pain eat my lung..my heart and my happiness. i dun wanna feel dumb but still i feel i'm the most dumb girl in this world. Hope one day i can smile like before and makes myself comfortable. Hope to see the bright sunshine one day....:(